Part I of the Upside of R&R Home

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Part II of the Upside of R&R Home

New Zealand, Australia, Hong Kong, Japan and Hawaii

   It was December of 1972 when we headed for New Zealand, Australia, Hong Kong, Japan and then back home for a concert in Honolulu. Auckland, NZ is a very beautiful city, having a bit of the English/Aussie flavor to it, yet different. The native indian people are the Maori's. A pretty people, although the tattooing of the tongue custom is a bit on the edge for a westerner.

   At that time, you couldn't drive a car with the window down on the drivers side and have your arm resting out of the vehicle. You had to have a bubble Plexiglas device that enclosed the window. Funny that I would remember that. The rumor being that someone had lost an arm at one time while driving.

   Small, hilly mounds permeate the area. I was told they are extinct volcanoes. Auckland was, in part, like a combination of Hawaii and California. Evergreens and lush tropical plant mixture. At least that's my memory of it. Lots of sheep. (No Montana jokes, please.)

   I was fortunate enough to go horseback riding while there. Somewhere, I've got movies on old 8 mm film. If I ever dig it out, I'll convert it to a web movie and add it to this chapter. I had never ridden on an English saddle before. They don't have a "horn," so I was suspicious of it. To my surprise, it was absolutely the most comfortable saddle I had ever used. I was used to seeing them with the stirrups way up high, like a jockey, or under some English equestrian chick, dressed in competition rail fence-jumping gear. (But wait. Those fence jumping women have long stirrups, don't they?) THIS saddle had the stirrups at regular leg length, so you could stand in them if you needed to. The leather of the English riding saddle was SO soft and comfortable, it was unbelievable. Much better than a western saddle. I highly recommend that you try one sometime. You'll never go back. These were only stable horses, but it was great fun. I mean, come on now. Here I am, Mr. rock guitar guy, in New Zealand, out in the country on horseback. Give me a break. As I've said many times "being spoiled has gotten a WAY BAD RAP over the years. It really isn't all that bad."

    On the last day there, I did a little shopping. At the time, platform shoes had just come into popularity. I mean, ... the first time. I found a pair of (as the old song says) "High Heel Sneakers," tennis shoes with platform soles. Ah yes, indeedie. More on that later.

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    When entering Australia, I believe we flew into either Brisbane or Sydney. The now famous, "Sydney Opera House" was still in construction and going way over budget. Still, it was awesome looking from the air. We were told that Joe Cocker and his band had come through there the week before and had been busted for drugs while going through Customs and Immigration. Pot, I think. Not sure. So here we were, another rock act coming into Australia. They were primed and waiting for us at Immigration. They looked through everything for drugs. Now get this, not only did they check our bags, our instruments, our road cases and pouches (worn over your shoulder. A 60's thing), but, (and I can only speak for myself) they asked me to strip down. Si. Strip down naked. No, not the end of story, not at all.

This inspector told me to bend over. Wantin' to check me ol' bum hole, he was. And you thought rock n roll was pristine in its pomp and fluff. God, it made me mad. Embarrassing (that's pronounced "Em-bare-Asssssing"). There I was, bent over, clasping my ankles and seriously thinking of mustering up something special for him, as he put his face and eyes close to the area of inspection. A picture not worthy of a mother's attention. I just bit my tongue for the sake of the tour and "bared" my soul to the guy. So, speak to me of fame, oh Brutus. You say "No Way, dude! That couldn't happen to you. You're a rock guy." I say "Way, dude ............ Way. Not excellent. It did happen. Too real. Rock Bummer."

     My first impression of Australia was "why is everything called SWAN?" Swan taxi. Swan beer. It was like an Americanism for ACME. Remember all those cartoons? Roadrunner with an ACME kit of some type? Yes. Anyway, Australia had a thing going on that level, 'cept it was SWAN.

     Another revelation to "Mr. World Traveler," me. It came as quite a surprise to my young behind, that when I looked up in the sky I COULDN'T FIND THE BIG DIPPER!! No. Gone. What's the deal? Well, obviously, (duh. Hello!) it's the Southern hemisphere, stupid. They see a different sky than we do up here in North America. Down there, it would be the SOUTHERN CROSS that everyone is familiar with. These were major wevelations to a young man. Pwease don't waugh too hard. Oh, and there was something about the water, too. Their toilets drained in the opposite rotation than ours do in the Northern hemisphere. Really. And, right at the equator, toilets won't flush at all! (okay, the last part was garbage, but the first part is real).

    Let's see. What else? Oh yes, television. As I understand it, Australia had a gold rush just about the same year (1849) we did in America out west. Correct me if I'm wrong. Anyway, I was watching this television program and it had a western motif to it, as in Cowboys and Indians .... almost. Here was Peter Graves (mission impossible dude - James Arness' brother). He was on a stagecoach driven by horses. Now, instead of a standard cowboy hat, he had one with the brim turned up on the side ... Australian style. As they drove the stagecoach through a pass, between two big rocks, the kind where the Indians usually jump off the rock and ambush the stagecoach ... you know the kind?Well, it wasn't Indians, it was "ABO's." And what is an abo, you say?

A shortened version of Aborigine. ABO MAN was a common term. At least it seemed that way to me. Racial slur? Not sure. Just good ol' geographical variations on a western theme. It struck me funny. Thought it might bring a grin to your face, hearing about the weakness of my "international chops." Of course, all of you "put one on the barbie" people already know about this stuff.

   On the downside, I didn't make it to Tasmania. Right down under Australia, you know. Just what was my particular interest in Tasmania? Simple. Very simple and basic. Having been programmed in my youth by Warner Bros. / Merry Melodies cartoon makers, Leon Schlesinger and Mel Blanc, I have a phonetic fascination with the phrase "A Tasmanian Devil." It seems to me that it would be something to seek out, or at least dwell upon periodically in the depths of a profound rock n roll mind. (This is B.S., in case you just fogged over) 

    On the East coast, we did gigs in Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne and then in Adelaide. One was at an outdoor racetrack. I remember running into "Gerry" of Gerry and the Pacemakers there. Just after we arrived in Australia, there was a nationwide airlines strike. No flying. We had to go to the far West coast to the city of Perth, so we had to take a train.

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   Some of you may have heard of this journey. The Canadian rock group, The Guess Who, were there with us and we traveled together on a train for 3 or 4 days, through the "outback," as they say. "Roos" everywhere. Lots of cactus like our own southwest, but with these wallaby creatures and all kinds and sizes of kangaroo types. Cool. On this train, there were 2 club cars and one of them had a piano in it. Getting the picture? Two rock bands on a train going practically coast to coast. It started off great, everybody hanging in the club cars. Drinking, then drinking some more, way into the night and into the next morning. We sang so many songs, it was ridiculous. Most musicians, in general, know a lot of songs, due to playing clubs, etc. Well let me tell you, Burton Cummings may be the King himself. He played for days. I am not lyin'. DAYS. The dude knows more songs than you can shake a "didjeridu" at. Drinking, playing and singing every ridiculous song we ever knew or heard. Great fun. Course when alcohol is in the equation, ego's can flair, even beyond normal pumpkin head size. Without naming names, lets just say that someone from our group and someone from their group clashed just a tad, after a couple of days of getting hammered and singing. Nothing that couldn't be slept off. A great bunch of guys. A great memory for all of us. (Names withheld to protect the guilty ... as well as to thwart any litigation. Nyuk nyuk.)

    One evening on the train, while rambling from car to car, I recall passing a band mate's sleeping compartment and finding him ... (whodathunkit) ... fast asleep, due to being a bit trashed from the marathon club car drinking and rock group bonding. Being the irritant catalyst duo that we were, I immediately snagged Greenspoon. We had a mission. Slowly we turned, step by step, gradually opening the cabin door. Quietly approaching the sleeping "Rip Van Outback," then placing an Oreo cookie between his dry, open-mouthed, sleeping lips, and yet another one in his extended palm. You know, really stupid, irritating kid stuff. We stacked them all over him. A work of art, really. All the while being sure to not wake him. We left him that way, to awake in an Australian Oreo Railroad nightmare. We backed out slowly and closed the door. We never heard anything from him about it.

    So, we ended up in Perth. Beautiful beaches there. The film "Blue Water / White Death" hadn't been out that long (1971) and the talk of "Big Whites" was everywhere. Perth is known for them. I chose to enjoy the ocean from the beach, not from a boat or in the water. Greenspoon, on the other hand, decided to ask Sneed when his movie was coming out. Floyd smiled, knowing there was trouble coming, and said "Okay, I'll bite. What movie?" Jimmy said "You know, your movie. Black Dick / White Palm." We all cracked up laughing, including Floyd. Another Greenspoon classic that lives on. Jimmy treads on dangerous territory so often, it's amazing he's still alive. Nyuk.

   Oops! Did I forget to say that we WERE, in fact, playing music while we were in these Australian cities? An oversite on my part. Yes, of course, we were playing our music. That's why we went there. Great fun and a wonderful opportunity.

   After we had performed in Perth, we said our goodbyes to Australia AND our Canadian friends, The Guess Who. We were off to Japan with a short stopover in Hong Kong. After flying to Hong Kong, we spent the day sightseeing, then stayed the night, planning to leave the next morning. We did not perform while there. And "where" (you say) did we stay? Where else? The Holiday Inn Hong Kong. I sheet you not. Without going into detail, we had a REAL GOOD TIME there that evening. Met some "peoples" from Peking (Back then we didn't call it Beijing) and they treated some of us to quite an entertaining night. Kowloon harbor with all it's junks or junkets. Can't remember. Those sampan boat thingies are just solid across the harbor at places. You know the ones. Cool. Just back over the mountains was what was considered the BAMBOO CURTAIN, the boundary separating British Hong Kong from mainland China. (At least up until 1999 when it reverted back to China). I went for a ride on the TRAM LIFT that goes way up the steep hill, which is part of Hong Kong. Quite a view from up there. If you haven't personally been there, you might have seen it in a Bruce Lee film or one of the old "I SPY" tv series episodes, starring Bill Cosby and Robert Culp. It's very memorable.

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